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Positive interpersonal programming

Posted by: | Posted on: Nov 12, 2018

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 Positive interpersonal programming (PIP)

Evaluate yourself for self-improvement of your own marriage and family relationships.

PIP helps you look at yourself, your marriage and family relationships. It is not a test. Rather, PIP enables you to see your stronger and less strong areas, those things that you do better and those things that you do less well, those things within which you should find pride and satisfaction and those things deserving a little more time and attention from you. Each section focuses on an important area of marriage and family life. Within each section are several statements about the most important interpersonal elements for that area. Going through all of the sections and statements will help you look at your strengths area by area and specifically at your strengths and less strong points within each area.

Score yourself on each statement (numbered A, B, C etc.), with one of the following numbers:
5 = almost always true
4 = usually true
3 = sometimes true
2 = seldom true
1 = almost never true

Once you have finished a section, add together your ratings for all of the statements in that section. This will give you a combined score. Next, divide the combined score by the number of statements in the section. This will give you an average score for that section. Write in your average score for the section in the blank to the left at the beginning of the section. Once you have finished all sections, add together your average scores for each section and then divide by the total number of sections. This will give you a composite score indicating how well you function overall as a marriage partner and family member.

Once you are finished, you will find that you have some points that represent real strengths for you and some points that represent less strong elements. The goal is to work toward average scores of “4” or above.

How do you achieve this level? Go back to the individual statements, locating those statements where you gave yourself a “1”, “2” or “3”, on which you need to work and improve. It is important to use two approaches. First, be sure that you spend most of your time and energy doing those things that you do well: “5” Do what you do well and do it as much as possible. Next, begin to give some time, thought, and energy to increasing how often you show the behaviour, attitude, characteristics, and so on shown in those statements where you gave yourself lower ratings. Emphasize your strong points and gradually strengthen your less strong areas.

Below, remember to limit your responses to your relationship with others at home.

Section I. Being a friend

1. Self-management at home

A. I am decisive and able to make up my mind.
B. I am able to set priorities and to decide what is and is not important.
C. I am consistent and predictable.
D. I snap back quickly from losses, disappointments, and those times when thing do not work out the way I want them to work out.
E. I have good personal habits.
F. I am assertive and up front about what I think and feel.

2. Positive Self-projection

A. I am a happy person.
B. I have a good sense of humour.
C. I am fun to be around.
D. I enjoy people.

3. Showing respect

A. I am gentle and tender with others.
B. I am relaxed.
C. I am considerate of the feelings of others.
D. I listen patiently and carefully.
E. I am accepting and understanding with others.

4. Showing trust

A. I give others the benefit of the doubt.
B. I do not question the actions or motives of others.
C. I am willing to take the first step to improve things or to make things better.
D. Others can count on me.
E. I avoid blaming or accusing others.

5. Being cooperative

A. I go at least halfway to get things done or to make things better.
B. I am willing to help others.
C. I work well with others.
D. I am clear with others about what I want or expect.

6. Caring

A. I am proud of others.
B. I am actively involved with others.
C. I am positive and supportive with others.

7. Managing conflict

A. I keep arguments and hassles short, to the point, and under control.
B. I hang in there when there is conflict or tension.
C. I use hassles and arguments to clear the air and to make things better.
D. I am tolerant with others.

8. Sharing

A. I talk with others.
B. I see others as important and valued.
C. I spend time playing with others.
D. I am not competitive with others.
E. I invest myself in others.
F. I am open with others.

9. Being loyal

A. I stick up for others when someone is complaining about him/her or putting him/her down.
B. I place high value on my relationships with others.
C. I deal with the ups and downs in our relationships.
D. I have faith in others.

10. Helping relationships grow

A. I am able to change my goals or priorities to improve my relationships with others.
B. I can accept and am comfortable with changes in my relationships with others over time.
C. I have about the same expectations for our relationship as others.
D. I do not try to change others.

11. Keeping morale high

A. I feel good about staying in the relationships I have.
B. I see my relationships as a welcomed opportunity and responsibility.
C. I am satisfied with my relationships.
D. I see my relationships as a fifty-fifty or give-and-take kind of thing.

The following sections are also covered inside the free e-guide.

Section II. Being a parent
12. Managing the children
13. Relating to the children
14. Modelling for the children
15. Being responsible

Section III. Blending families
16. Blending expectations
17. Blending differing life experiences
18. Working on blending

Section IV. Being a financial partner
19. Being financially responsible
20. Sharing financially

Section V. Being a sexual partner
21. Showing sexual interest
22. Relating sexually
23. Sexual respect
24. Sexual fidelity

Section VI. Other relationships
PIP Elements

Section VII. For teachers
PIP Elements

Section VIII. For managers
I. Priorities
1. Cooperation
2. Loyalty
3. Caring
4. Sharing
5. Respect
6. Trust
II. Processes
7. Direction
8. Action
9. Attitude
10. Association
11. Engagement
12. Modulation
13. Modelling

Positive interpersonal self-programming for partners, spouses, parents, children, teachers and managers; so says the psychologist. It even helps one with introspection on one’s management capabilities, with the aim of improving it.

Positive interpersonal programming e-guide-e-cover

Get the complete free e-guide when you subscribe on this page: https://global-association-for-managers.biz/parent-advice-newsletter-publication-announcement/


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