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Good employers want a balance of assertiveness and aggressiveness.
How to cultivate that vital balance
Employers often avoid hiring overly aggressive employees as they drive business away. However employers want and hire assertive employees because assertive behaviour projects capability and promotes a healthy productive working environment. What are these traits and how can you create a healthy balance?
Assertive behaviour can be many things. It can be standing up for your rights, expressing yourself honestly, with courtesy and comfortably as well as observing and respecting the rights of others.
Assertive behaviour promotes equality and a healthy balance in human relationship. Assertion is based on human – right- especially the right to be treated with respect in all situations. Every person has the right to be listened to and taken seriously, to say yes or no with conviction, to express his or her opinion, and ask for what he or she wants.
Assertive behaviour is critical to a successful job search and career potential because it conveys self-esteem and capability.
Employers hire people who behave confidently and are able to convey their job descriptions comfortably and clearly. They want employees who strengthen human relations and project competence in the workplace. They hire applicants who demonstrate assertiveness in interviews, resumes, and all communications. To reach your full potential, be assertive and tactful expressing yourself, and respect the rights of others.
Generally personality types fall into three general categories. Non-assertive, aggressive and assertive. Employers avoid hiring non-assertive and aggressive employees because they are often detrimental in the workplace.
People who are non-assertive have difficulty expressing thoughts or feelings because they lack confidence. They may become unhappy because they permit others to abuse their rights. They project their feelings of unhappiness others.
Aggressive based people often violate the rights of others with domineering, pushy behaviour. Their goal is to dominate because they fear loss of control. Overly aggressive employees drive business away. The good employers who you would wish to work for usually identify such trouble and avoid hiring these types.
Assertive behaviour is essential to career success. Assertive people are confident, express their needs and opinions comfortably, and are sensitive to the needs of others.
The type of employer that you would want to work for usually search out assertive employees as their behaviour projects capability and promotes a healthy , productive working environment.
What are techniques by which you can develop assertiveness? Practice expressing your feelings and needs calmly and clearly. As well continually demonstrate acceptance and respect for others by praising them sincerely and honestly why they perform or behave well.
The whole point is to deal with other people in a sincere and truthful way. Imitate friendships. Express your opinions in meetings or conversations particularly when you strongly believe or are knowledgeable about the topic. Don’t talk just to be noticed.
Contribute something to each conversation.
It may help to join a professional or service organization or club. You can always volunteer. This is good way to network and build your assertive skills.
Remember the type of employer that would have a pleasing, easy going workplace without great interpersonal conflicts is the place you want to be.
Generally the people who do the hiring in such progressive firms recognize the traits of the applicants that they wish to hire. A balance of assertive behaviour without overly aggressive tendencies is preferred. Groom yourself for those personal traits.
Assertiveness top ten tips
Assertiveness is a life skill; useful both inside and outside work. However, the reactions and behaviours we employ now are the result of years of fine tuning. Being assertive doesn’t happen overnight, but the more practice you get, the more skilled you become. And while you may not always get what you want, you will always know you gave it your best.
So here are the top ten tips for improving your assertive behaviour:
1. Believe in yourself more – always think positively and feed yourself with positive inner dialogue. Stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eye, and tell yourself how wonderful you are!
2. Recognize that you can never change other people. You can only change what you do; and that a change in your behaviour will afford others the opportunity to behave differently towards you.
3. Learn to respond, not react. Start choosing how to behave, based on admitting and accepting the consequences. Accept that you – and only you – have made that choice: nobody has forced you into it.
4. Stop beating yourself up for your decisions and behaviours. Instead, turn every situation into a positive learning opportunity for future behaviour change.
5. Watch your body language. Make sure it matches your words: people tend to believe what they see rather than what they hear.
6. Use the green cross code: Stop Look Listen – then think about how you want to respond. This will ensure you stay in control of you and the situation, and afford others the opportunity to do so as well.
7. Aim for situation resolution, not self-defence. Concentrate on the situation rather than your own feelings, and recognize that the other person is most probably angry about the situation – not with you.
8. Consider and choose your words. Lose the words that signal “I’m a pushover” such as “I’m terribly sorry”, or “I’m afraid”, or “Could you possibly…?” or “Can I just …?” Substitute big “I” statements followed by factual descriptions instead of judgments or exaggerations. This will encourage the other person to do the same.
9. Say “no” when you want to. Don’t forget to afford yourself all of the rights you allow everyone else to have. And if it helps, remember that you are not refusing them personally, you are refusing their request.
10. Take a “can do” attitude. Believe that things don’t just happen to you – but that you can make them happen.
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